I was wrong
I use to be a negative all the time when I was little till just recently. I never cared to see the good side of anything. I chose to only see it my way and only my way. There are people, environments and things that I could blame about why I was like that. But it doesn’t hold any weight to me anymore. It’s just an excuse that I’d be creating.
There are things I wish I didn’t do to others or myself, but I did and I’ve learned from them. I’m a much better person for finally realizing that I had done wrong. I live to find curiosity in everything and everyone. I see the world in a better perspective that is honest and blunt at times. But it has been quite the journey since the time I finally decided to turn it around when I saw the dissappointment in my mom’s face when she saw my high school report card say I was repeating my freshman year. It wasn’t because of my grades which were all A’s, I failed because I was skipping class. My mom learned right there and then that I was out and about doing things that she was unaware of that her little one of three boys was doing. I had told her long time before I had arrived in high school that I would be different from my brothers, cousins, uncles and friends. That I wouldn’t wind up like them, drunk, high, in jail or worse. I let her down, I couldn’t look at her face. I had let down the most important person in my life. It hurt so bad. She didn’t even say anything but try to look at my eyes, but I wouldn’t dare raise my face of shame to her.
So many days had past and I wondered and pondered how I could’ve been so careless and selfish of the way I was being and neglecting and forgetting everything my mom and dad thought me. My mom showed me her life growing up in Mexico and my dad showed me his love of music. They’ve thought me so much without words but by examples. Examples that I hope to share with my own someday, sometime. The following school year finally arrived with anticipation to redo my freshman year again. This time with a new perspective and determination to say sorry to my parents and especially my mom. I excelled in all subjects to the extent where my teachers were asking me to join the school’s UIL (University Interscholastic League) teams. I declined those opportunities to play high school football for my dad because he loved american football. I continued with determination to ace all my classes up to my junior year of high school. So much so that I caught up with all my credits and graduated as a junior and skipped my senior year. This meant I actually graduated on time as if I had never failed my freshman year.
My parents were proud that there last child of three boys had also achieved high school graduation as his two older brothers did. But I didn’t want to finish it there, I felt that I have a lifetime to continue to show them that they raised me right and beautifully. I then went to the Art Institute of Houston and graduated from there as well. It was something that made my dad especially proud because he had tried to go to college but never quite made it. He even wrote a card to me that continues to bring me to tears every time I read it because my dad is a very reserved man that is not much for words or expressing his feelings. A relic to be cherished. After those two little milestones I was finally feeling a little comfortable that I was starting to repay my parents for all they have done for my brothers and myself.
That is only the initial chapters of what I want to accomplish and do for my parents. I do everything for them. I give all credit that is given to me to them. There couldn’t be any bigger influences in my life than my parents. I am there blood, skin and bones. I am them and they are me. Everything you’ve seen in me is because of them. I think, do, say because of them.
I love my parents!
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